*This post is about suicide and kids/teens who think that there is no way out. This may not appeal to you, but if you know somebody who is depressed and thinks nobody cares, please send this to them. Pass the love on and let them know: they are not alone.

Dear Reader,

Let me start off by saying, you are not worthless. You are not horrible, stupid, selfish or better off dead. You are not any of those things you may call youself. You are perfect in your own way. You are special, amazing and beautiful (both inside and out) to me. I may not know your name, but I know you’re amazing. I may not know what you look like, but I know you’re beautiful. I may not know why you are so sad and depressed, but I know it gets better. I promise you.

It may seem that there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, but I swear to you, there is a light. You may think that nobody cares or loves you, but I’m gonna correct you right now… I love you and I care about you. You may also think nobody would miss you if you left, but I would. My heart goes out to every teen I hear is suicidal or, worse, committed suicide. I believe that everybody is here for a reason and everybody leaves this earth for a reason. But I don’t believe that anybody, not just teens, is destined to die by killing themselves. I don’t believe it for a minute.

You may be alone physically, but you should know, you are not alone. As Lady Gaga says, “when you’re alone, I’m alone.” I say the same. When you’re upset, I’m upset. When you cry, I cry. When you smile, I smile. I need you to smile. I need you to believe me when I say that it does get better and that you are not alone. 

As I end my letter to you, I’d like to finish with I love you and that someone does care about you. That someone is me.

Love,

Sydney 

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Lemme ask you something reader… what do you think of when you hear the word Monster? Do you think of vampires and Frankenstein? Or do you think of Halloween? For me, when I hear the word Monster, I think of my Monster Family. No, not my biological family; my family on Twitter. Yes, TWITTER.

Lemme tell you how it started. Picture it, Chicago suburbs 2007-2008. I was bullied very badly for 2 years. I was threatened, called terrible names and much more. The school did nothing to help me. That’s when my battle with friendship, acceptance and loving who I am began. After leaving school, I became homeschooled, which I love so much. I’m thriving in school, but I was and still am having problems making friends. I tried going to a lot of homeschooling groups and classes, but they had the same outcome; I was the outcast who was different. Most of those kids have known each other for many years and they all like the same things and I’m not like them. Even when I make a friend and give them my card (yes I have a business card!) with my info, nine out of ten times, they don’t call and I never see them again.

Then, my one amazing best friend Jessica (whom I’ve written about before) moved to Vermont. I was officially friendless after that. I didn’t have anybody to hang out with or to have a sleepover with or anything. Then, beginning in March, I started getting these things called waves. Waves are where I’ll be happy one minute, then crying and sad the next. I started seeing a therapist (or life coach as me and my mom call her) and I’ve slowly been getting better. The Oprah-Babies  helped A LOT with the sadness, but only a little bit. I made new friends, who I still talk to.

Even with everything that I had going on, I still was sad and felt like I was missed that ONE piece of the puzzle. That piece came on June 22nd.

For those of you who don’t know, June 22nd is my birthday and this year I turned 13. I joined Twitter that day and thought “Oh, nobody will follow me, I won’t make any friends, I won’t use this a lot!” Well, now it”s August and 6,454 tweets, 630  followers and hundreds of amazing friends, or should I say, FAMILY later, I have so much love and support from my monsters that it scares me! I talk to them everyday and they always say how much they care and love me and how monsters stick together.